SO I FOLLOWED MY NEW BUDDY UP INTO THE CAB OF THE GREEN MONSTER,WHERE HE WAS NOW SITTIN, BUGEYED OVER THE WARNING ON THE DUMPER BUTTON N ALL THE OTHER FUCKED UP CONTROL MECHANISMS. HE TURNED TO ME N SEZ
"DUDE This fuckin dump truck is beat ta shit....I FUCKIN LOVE IT!"
HAW I couldnt help laffin my balls off over that, as I started up that monstrous belch flame n she back fired n blew big purple clouds of exhaust all around.
You could tell Truk had sprung a woody the minute he felt the vibrations from the engine n heard the ungodly music of the cylinders roarin out some kinda mechanistic ode to their final run.
MEANWHILE I HADDA DO SOME QUICK THINKIN IF I WAS TO EXPLOIT THESE HERE CIRCUMSTANCES TO THEIR POTENTIAL LIMITS.. Divesting myself of the green monster and all my internal combustion stray dawgs had created some kinda unbalance in the whirled of mechanical kharma, and, as I figgered, it was the combined gasoline powered souls of every one o them busted rice rockets, lawn mowers, weed wackers n such in the back of the green monster, what had manifested this absurd n studly TRUCKERS BOY ,here, now, panting and spunkin his skimpy shorts beside me in the cab o that doomed dumptruck!
BUT.. SHEEEEIT!! WORDS CANT EXPLAIN THE FACT THAT IT WAS SO MUCH FUN STRUGGLIN WITH THAT BIG OL TRUCK, HOLDING ONTO THE FUCKIN WHEEL FER DEAR LIFE AS THAT OVERLOADED BASTID BOUNCED N JUMPED N JERKED ALL OVA DA ROAD. 'TRUK' HIT THE CEILING A DOZEN TIMES, HIM NOT HAVIN MUCH HEADROOM, but he was laffin n grinnin n yippin n yellin with glee so what the fuck! We was full tilt in the internal combustion whirled o adventure! And, with our combined love of that thar belch-flame-road-hawg we was an unstoppable force of man n machine.
it seemed to me just then that we had plunty o time-even though this lil incarnation of his "fantasy life as a TRUCKERS BOY" was only goin to encompass a few miles of road time and would terminate when we ditched the green monster at the dump,. Hell! Me n this crazy young adonis could prolly pack a lifetime of ordinary mans thrills into the road to the green monsters grave, and judging by the way it was proceeding thus far, it could very well turn into a genuine Odyseey of unknown dimentions.
THUS , I FIGGERED THERE WAS STILL PLUNTY OF TIME FER ADVENTURE, I may have been a failure as a mechanic or as THE FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE OF LOST MACHINERY but I was really tops at gettin into the kinda trouble that "TRUK" was lookin fer, that bein rolling sense adventure and man to man soul searing internal combustion hijinx! YAHOO!
"JEESE" I said finally , not bein able ta take my eyes offa the brick shithouse bouncin on the seat next to me, "YER BUILT LIKE A FUCKIN GOD" TRUK, whats up with that man, a feller dont just fall outta bed with his jock packed like that OR DID JA?????"
Truck got all puffed up n flexed his mighty biceps sayin "NAW MAN THESE BABIES IS PIECES OF SCUPTURE MODERNE inna genre of art of the highest form. N MUH KICKASS PHYSIQUE has been persued like the rest of my brief existence, in the loving embrace of the classical greek ideal! CAN YOU DIG THAT BRO?"
My eyes had twice as many reasons to be buggin out now n I needed all my concentration to keep that green monster rollin on course fer da land fill . But I was seriously diggin this boys tale and hadda think one more time that it was the collective spirit of all my internal combustion warriors bein shuttled to VALHALLA what was making this improbable bit of personal history unfold. So I listened in the grip of this crazy tale, my knuckles white from the strain o grippin the monsters steerin wheel n keepin her lurchin down route 14.
THAT BIG OL BOY smirked at me n went on into his long fantastical backstory
...."SEE .JAKE i may seen like an overstuffed dumbell but I aint! Im a gentleman o breding, a scolar too and it just so happens of late ..I PLAY FOOTBALL FER HARVARD, aint that a hoot!, Im a linebacker, Hence the outfit, and these here monstrous mus-kullz o mine!
BUT THE REALLY QUEER PART is that IM A CLASSICS MAJOR"
"YOU IZ BOY?"
I spat them words out involuntarily, and my incredulity ranklin his big ol ass momentarily it seemed. I dint mean ta come off so skeptikal, but with a second thought I realized that it did kinda explain a few odd coincidences. So then I shut up n waited fer more of this fantastical tale to be unfolded into my mind " how izzat possible" I ENQUIRED RITE POLITELY
"HOMER N PLUTARCH N THEM OLD BASYTIDZ?"
I was bearly croakin out muh words at that point fer all the disbelief still crowdin my mind, thinkin this day was likely to git curiouser n curiouser like somebody fed me some of Grace Slicks mushrooms.......
"YES SIR," TRUK CONTINUED "YOU SEE WHAT I REALLY LOVE, ABOVE ALL ARE HEROIC ACTS"
"ITS WHAT DREW ME TO THE GRIDIRON AS A BOY, AND TO THE GREAT CLASSICAL HISTORIANS & PHILOSOPHERS .....ONCE I KNEW BETTER AND HAD SEEN ENUF OF THE PHONEY BALONEY HEROICAL POSING THAT GOES WITH PIGSKIN!.... I still love ta play hard, n believe me theres plunty other boys what appreciate the artistical aspect of the game, but I need to get fueled from studiing them old texts! READING THAT STUFF IS WHAT REALLY GETS ME FIRED UP!"
N then he grinned at me like an idiot savant so dang happy to be fusing his fantastical modes of heroism in the combination of this here classical repartee, the adventure of bumpin n banging along the highway in the green monster n the spunk still leakin into his ivy league jock from that quickie pas des deux we did back in olneville.
TO REINFORCE THIS MOMENT and the point he was makin I SHOUTED OVER THE DIN THE ENGINE
" That trick we pulled in the dirty bookstore was purty durn heroical my boy, sheeit, I aint cum like that since the last time herakles dropped outta heaven!!"
N we both had a big yuck fest over at one before my mysterious buddy continued to edify me as to the specifics of how he come to fuse these unlikely n disparate whirlds.
"natchurly," he continued "HOMER IS MY MAIN MAN! n I am in a state of constant ecstacy whilst emersed in his endless poetical landscapes." (Now that there was a faraway look in his eye! )
"BUT OF LATE I BEEN CRAZY FER PLUTARCH and in particular the lives of them ol greek genera;ls like XENOPHON & ALCIBIADES, do you kow they was BOTH buddies with SOCRATES? n shit you cant git any more heroic than him. But
when ya read Plutarch all that shit just comes alive, and then of course, Plato has sure got some hot fuckin stories to tell. ITS STRANGE CAUSE MOST O THEM LIMP DICKED BIBLIOPHILE WANNABEES in the cl;assics department dont experience their reading as real. They filter it through intellectual attitudes n a million layers of cerebral filters, BUT FOR ME ITS REALITY.
N when I started to stray a bit from the library n the locker room i discovered truckstops n the OTR universe what I found populated with fellas of a genuine heroical stripe!"
."....KIN JA DIG THAT MY JAKE THE TRUCKER?"
"AW FUCK" I said out loud "I SURE AS HELL CAN, and I count myself blessed by divine providence that yer big ass fell like one o Zeus' thunderbolts in my path back at the Olneyville bookstore.!"
" YER ABOUT AS BIG A CONTRADICTION AS I AM SON AND IM DAMN GlAD WE HOOKED UP!"
"A HUGE FUCKIN LINEBACKER LIKE YOU STUDIING HOMER N OVID N PLUTARCH, n ya got the purest of souls as fer as I kin see, only thing perplexing me is the puppy dawg fixation you got bout bein a truckers boy makes me think you mighta spent some time in them boston leather bars with them one nut 'MASTER' type bros fillin yer head with dominance n submission fantasies,
AFTER HE HEARD ME SAY THAT, TRUK FLUSHED REAL RED N STEAM WAS A SHOOTIN N TOOTIN OUT HIS EARS N HE SEZ TA ME WITH HIS EYES BUGGIN OUT N HIS SCRIFFY MUG RIGHT UP NEXT TO MINE...
"IM FIERCE! DAMMIT, aint no puppy!! Wanna be yer boy is all ...cause truck drivin men is mythological as far as I kin see.
OK OK SO I DID STRAY INTO THAT PURPLE LEATHER UNDERWHIRLED BRIEFLY, ILL ADMIT TIT... BUT THEM AINT MEN LIKE THEY SEEMED AT FIRST TO MY NAIVE EYES!"
MY MOUTH WAS ON AUTO PILOT BY NOW N BEFORE I KNEW IT I HAD BLURTED "SHIT BRO YOU ACTUALLY SOUND KINDA DUMM FER A CLASSICS SCHOLAR, you sure you aint just out of the joint or somethin with nowhere to go?"
"I WISH!" HE SHOUTED gettin even more flushed n frantic "prison is another heroic locale in my pantheon bro n if you think Im a fuckin candyass poseur well maybe you aughta just toss my big ass outta this fucked up, dirty ol dumptruck!" He was yellin fer awhile but he done calmed down, by the time he finished this rant.
DANG I SURE AS SHIT PUSHED HIS BUTTONS
I drove quietly there after,with the fuckin truck makin all the noise bouncin all over the road, n it was also kinda like comic relief cause when I glanced at him next 'TRUK' was grinin like an idiot agin. Happy as the proverbial pigin shit.
The dump was way out in a remote suburb n so we hadda pass a lttle spot by the river, that fellas had used ta congregate cause it was kinda well hidden n had lots of bushes ta hide in n fuck. I pulled the green monster off by the side of the road a ways from the river n asked my new boy if hed care ta join me for some full body refreshment in some purty pastoral surroundings. I was beginning to groove on his classical background n thought that it might possibly be the inspiration I needed to raise this little farewell party to all my lost engines, into something of a more lyrical nature. Naturally my new buddy truk was down with it in spades.
AS I SWUNG MY BARE ARM OVER HIS HERCULEAN MEATRACK N STEERED HIM TOWARDS THE RIVER I SAID
"YA KNOW BUDDY....'TRUCK', AINT MUCH OF A NAME FER A FELLA OF YER STATURE, PERTIKERLY ONE EMMERSED IN THE CLASSICS N THE GREAT HEROES OF MYTHOLOGY"
"yeah" he sez "whats wrong with it?"
"oh shit aint nuthin wrong withit bro, is just that yer a one of a kind kinda godlike manboy n the way you been thrust inta the fabric o muh gear jammin life Id like ta maybe cook up a brand spankin new handle fer ya, on account o you bein M'BOY NOW N ALL"
'HOW BOUT I CALLZ YA TRUKULES?"
THE BIG FUCK NEAR BOUT BUST OUTA THAT SKIMPY WORKOUT GEAR! HE PUFFED UP SO MIGHTILY!! I THOUGHT HIS FACE WOULD CRACK FROM GRINNIN CAUSE THE NOTION PLEASED HIS BIG ASS TO SUCH AN EXTENT!
"DAMN JAKE, IM HUMBLED" he mumbled
"Well it sure as shit sounds a might grander than the other, n lets face it buddy- you gotta be the grandestt dang truckers boy I ever seen, n I'd be happy to take ya onna coast ta coast tour of all the truckstops in america to prove that im abso-fuckin lootely 100% correct about it. YER FUCKIN DIVINE DUDE, born full blown from the mind of PETERBUILT. HEH, kinda like athena with balls?"
My buddy trukules seemed to be quite a modest soul despite his ferrocity on th gridiron and in debates about heroic circumstance. But right now he seemed down right mellow.
"I was born in phily fer christ sakes." he mumbled humbly
"OH YEAH,!" sez i leerin lasciviously (I wunt gonna let nuthin escape my hyperbolic portrayal of the events in my purview)
"CITY O BROTHERLY LOVE YA SAY? HUH"
"THATS A DANG GOOD AUSPICIOUS BEGINNIN FER A FELLA COMMITTED TO THE HEROIC, cause there aint nuthin more essential to heroics than brotherly love!"
(OH I WAS UP TO THE EYEBALLS INNIT BUT IT REALLY FELT SO FINE. )
"AND HEY!" I said "speakin o brotherly love, TRUCKULES MY DIVINE TRUCKERS BOY, how bout we get down to it just as soon as I soak my old shaggy ass in that cool river." i give him a push in that direction
N WE SAUNTERED THUSLY towards the river
TRUCKULES
DIVINE
WELL SHIT HAD I HUNG MY STOCKINGS TOOCAREFULLY BY THE CHIMNEY ?
HAD I SIMPLY PUSHED MY PREPARATIONS TO DIVEST MYSELF OF THE INTERNAL COMBUSTION METAPHOR WAY TO FAR?
All these divine attentions to my own internally combusting engine here by a man in love with the man in love with the biggest n best of them ROAD WARY VESSELS,
NOT ME BUT THE THING I HAD MISTAKENLY TAKEN UPON MYSELF, LIKE IT WAS A GOOD CAUSE OR A HIGH FASHION.
I Was wondering if there was a way I could possibly construe this situation as trouble?
Had I been "looking for touble" since the day I started to collect lawn mowers with 3 wheels?
It had fer certainly found me,
Divine TRUKULES put his arms around me, and hoisted my ancient ,shagged out bod offa him there in the tall grass, N said,
"LETS GET BACK TO THE TRUCK JAKE"
n so we paddled n dabbled n dabbed n patted n puffed n huffed n dragged our asses back into our clothes n up the sunny bank to where the GREEN MONSTER set humungously vigilant.
"jeese truk I gotta tell you so many stories n such" I said as we shuffled up to the truck
"Im not sure where to begin?"
THe superman of truckers boys was totally placid inside his amazing suit of muskullz n merely raised an eyebrow . Then he reached up an opened his door and once more I was witness to his flowing propelled magnitude n grace as he swung his herculean butt up into the cab.
Do I stutter?
NAW, no, not even a little, but I did hesitate... to move or groove or take the wheel o fate . I was struck dumm. Truk hadda bark at me sum ....to even get me beyond where my feet was planted. I rolled round the front end o the beast n creeked n crept up into the drivers seat. Inside the beast I fumbled with all of my keys feelin real funny about bein inside the warm glow of wonderful joie d vivre my faux truckers boy exuded
His magnanimous spirit just filled that there cab with an air so sweet. sweeter than sparkplugs in yer pocket n gas in yer tank , sweeter than most airs, in spite of the heavy cloud which seemed to cum upon me when In these big rigs I dwelled too long.
I fired up the engine But now I wunt headed fer the dump no more.
It was Ironic how convieniently cheek by jowl the truckstop n the landfill was, right there in the biggest little state in the union. I would really be blowin my cover pullin up at the 24 hour diner n truckers shower in the green monster.
This was a sacred place that I had previously only rode my fuckin holly davidson to.
I COULDNT N I dint even try to drive straight but just pulled up in the first piece o pavement thar that would accomodate this crazy crew of internally combustabullz.
Truck looked at me kinda weird. "wassup JAKE?"
"I gotta see a man about a dawg" I said n just hopped out n strode real quick into the fuel office.
YEHAW!
There was nobody round as we pushed our way through the tall grasses n the reeds in the shade of them huge old trees.... strippin off as we got closer to that cool black water. I needed to cool down desperately so I just tore off my clothes n crashed into that still water, feelin that shock of the cold just strip my mind of all the mad thoughts n tensions arising from the surpises of the day. Thus I was already bareassed n splashin, and my new partner in crime was still standin on the shore takin his sweet time.
I floated on my back a moment n then turned ta see TRUCKULES ALL PINK N MUSCULAR, peelin off his drawers on shore and gazing abstractedly at the scene
Lawd, it was like we had been wandering in some ancient landscape fulla wood nymphs and incognito gods. Just an ancient hippy pertending to be a gear jammin trucker fer the fantastical amusemen of a nude football playin classics scholar. I knew it coont be real ....but then, how can you make something up like an ivy league linebacker that only wants to live in a jailhouse/truckstop version of Homers ancient epic pomes?
My wonderous yung side kick waded into the water, gasping softly as the cold dark liquid enveloped every inch of his kickass bod.
"JAKE MAN!" he blurted "yer the balls brother" and he began to swim towards me still gibbering and gushing absurd and beautiful verbiage.
"You picked me up in that belchflame truck, filled my head with the kinda heroics I been starvin for, and now here we are in fuckin arcadia"
HEH I laffed n said
"well actually my boy, arcadia is down the road, its a nice lil pond but a little too much family action fer a coupla bareassed cocksuckers to really let it all hang out."
He did a lil dog paddle over to me, his bulky fuckin shoulders framin his purty head as he looked at me all unglued with delight... THE BIGGEST OF BIG BOYS WAS THUSLY stupified, awestruck n happy as a pig in shit, all rolled up with the joy of his first bike and that "just lost my cherry" smirk on his innocent n ferrocious mug.
With watter dribblin outta his lil chin whiskiz he lunged at me and grabbed me all up in his arms.
"MAN I FUCKIN LOVE YOU DUDE!" he swore like it was a solemn oath
" WHERE THE FUCK YOU BEEN TRUCKER JAKE?" The big boy was beside himself it seemed.
"A couple a miles of rolling dialogue witchoo and You make a lockerroom fulla football players n a library packed with the literature of all time seem like lil childrens toys! then you gimme thoughts of real men ridin over the endless road or claimin their mad,sociopathic destinies in clangin tiers of supermax cell blocks.!"
" I ' LL DO ANYTHING FER YOU MAN JUST LEMME BE YER BOY!"
( I guess we'd be needing another lil aside here prolly)
He submerged his herculean bod in a turribly athetical fashion, like some great pink dolphin, divin deep. then he rose up outta the mud below me, graspin my laigs as he rose through the the dark water, feelin every inch o me with his great graspin hands, then stopped at my waist n wrapped them lovin arms around me, grippin me tight so' he could blow me. OH!
Lawd! Them big paws on my old shaggy butt, deep in the black oblivion of the river, was sure a surprise punctuation to his last stated request. It still echoed in my head " just lemme be yer boy!".
But shit! I wunt like that. I wunt no OTR trucker. Not only did I NOT live Over The Road in and endless rolling flow of tuffhauls n races to unload, But I DINT wanna be nobodies superior, I liked bein equal with my fellows. Despite the fact that ol Trukules was servin me in a manner I could easily have become addicted to, I wouldnt ever let it happen. um, again. I hoped...
But there I was, me, alone, above the surface of the water ,feeling the incredible pleasure trukules was givin me, but still aware of my conscience n thus wrasslin with my duplicity in this ecstatical set of circumstances.
I had sum idea what my friend TRUKULES meant by bein a TRUCKERS BOY, it was an aggrated persona that ran the gamut from boot licking sex slave, to super faithful side kick, shotgun rider extraordinairre and partner in crime in the OTR universe, with a couple dashes of APPRENTICE, FIRST MATE, SQUIRE, N BUDDY BOY N'EST PLUS ULTRA thrown in fer good measure. N I knew many long time truckdrivers that could give him exactly the treatment and position he so mightily desired. It just wunt gonna be me and so what began as an earnest effort to divest myself of the cache of internal combustion , and then what seemed an indulgence in harmless mad hijinx had become, in my mind, an act ! An act laden with the shades of ancient ethcs, and saddled with a big, fat, deliberate, prevarication! And , if things werent looking desperately unethical enuff already,there. in that sylvan glade,..I was still enjoying the delicious repercussions of my own dan lie!
OH JEESE! WHILE TRUK WAS SUCKULATING ON MY ANCIENT HIPPY BOD UNDER THE WATER, I THRASHED ABOUT WILDLY IN MY HEAD ABOVE THE SURFACE all the while calmly luxuriating in his ministrations on the physical plane. Apparantly he had his big feet plantd firmly on the river bed and with my love log lodged besides his toncils & his massive arms wrapped around my butt I was quite sturdily planted there in the water looking fer all the world like I was treadin water but my hands werent doin no paddling, they was skidding and stutterin along the magnificent surfaces of Truks bod from his boulder sized shoulders to his poilshed alabaster ass cheeks. OH! GAWD!
HERE I WAS BEIN LAPPED AND LOVED IN THE LUXIRIOUS RIVER OF LIFE by a feller whose love n devotion was predicated upon a fallacy Id invented. It was fer funn originally, not a lie or a structural flaw in the concrete of reality, just a lark set upon the circumstance of un-encumbering myself of the physical evidence of my metaphorical philanderings. It wunt origininally my most grevious sin, but right now it sure as shit was.
THE FELLA BEHIND THE COUNTER LOOK SURPRISED N PERPLEXED BUT SURE ENOUGH RECOGNIZED ME BY THE WILD FUR ON MUH FACE. "shit JAKE " he said "yer lookin kinda outta place"
I recovered my wits enough by then ta spit out "ITS REALITY AINTIT BLONDIE" as I shunned the big blond man boy I woulda usually showed some respect to, n just ducked quick into the truckers hall beyond him.
Then I was inna whirled of clackin pinball machines n pay tv sets n whooshin ball cleaners n hissing shower halls n Every dang OTR genie I ever knowed seemed to be crammed in there that day, as I stuttered n strode ...right past a buncha old friends n some interesting new mens, till I found myself next ta the biggest mutha from west virginny that I had ever seen, but I HAD talked to him one time N I KNEW THIS HERE DUDE WAS THE MAN I WAS SUPPOSED TA BE.....by accident or sympathy,
I GREETED BIG JIM LIKE THE OL PLOW HORSE HE WAS, shook his great mitt n stood amidst the green air of his company whilst he now raised an eyebrow at me.
"AINT YOU JAKE? " he said kinda amused by my brisk approach
"we had us a good long talk back in 86 dint we bro?" "heard you drove in with a garbage truck fulla horseflies man wassup? R U A DUMP TRUCKER NOW ER WHAT?"
Oh lawd, now here I was a posin n frozen fraud, showed up as the internal copmbustion diletantte that I was.
"YUPPERS JIM ITS ME .. N YES ,YES, YESIREE, we did, but no, Im iz just a humble Rhode Island Artiste n I got myself wedged in a spot pinned by that bitch desire , the undoin o which will require yore specific kinda fire."
"FIRE?" he queeried ... his big bearded mug suddenly as knotted and perplixified as it had before been placid n relaxed.
"MAYBE YOU"D BETTER BACK UP JAKE" said big jimm n I gulped a might as I re-apprised myself of how tall n yung n incredibly good lookin n godamn bloddy vital Jim was , though it had prolly been a decade since our LAST CHAT. OK so He wasnt 26 anymore, lord he was 36 n even greater fer all them miles fer sure.
"OK JIM" i simply aquiesced, who wooda guessed.
"I got me this big yung dude out in that thar dumptruck fulla horse flies" I said as if
to apologize fer the gift of TRUKULES which I was about to unload upon this here swingin tree top lover.
"YA DOO" sez jimm
"YEAH MAN n I have never seen a creature more hellbent on the Over The Road Life as is this mountain of newly hatched meat"
":MEAT!" Jimm squeakd, almost (BUT it was more like a rumble )
SO NOW that I had his complete attention, I steered big Jimm the way Id earlier steered TRUKULES,
outta the pinball palace and onto the grey gravely lot where sat the GREEN MONSTER, n TRUCKULES stiill perty much in the same spot.
"SAD LOOKIN TRUCK JAKE" was the first thang to escape from the lipz o bigg jimm
N I hadda agree wuith himm.
"Wheres yer rig Jimm?" I asked him .Then watchin as truk clambered down outta the cab n started to strut his big ol harvard butt over to where we was talkin.
"THAT BIG GREEN K WHOPPER YONDER JAKE!" jimm said wildly enthused of a sudden
So I shifted my gaze to behold the MIGHTY BIG ASSED RIGG that JIMM WAS still indicatining in the distance.
"YAHOO" Trukules yelped as he hoped n skipped when he saw Jimms Rigg. And he quickly drew up upon us two, GRINNIN AGIN LIKE MAD, still so dang green,n he piped up n joyfully said "THAT THAR IS ONE SERIOUS SEMI TRUCK!"
SIZE WISE , Big Jimmm n Truckules was about eye to eye, which shunt of been no surprise
considering the way o thangs.
WOULDJA SHOW ME ALL THE INS N OUTS OF THAT PURTY !8 WHEELER SIR PUH LEESE" truk moaned n bleeted
YOU BETCHA" crowed JIMM n swelled up even bigger tqween the pride he felt for his own rigor and the flush he felt faced with truks obvious vigor. Guess I had my finger on the trigger
when I interduced them two.cause when them two titans locKed grips it was a wrap fer my lil ol garbageman trip.
I merely sed TRUK THIS HERES BIG JIMM, BIG JIMM this heres TRUKULES" n HAW I hadda step back because I coulda sworn there was a flash of light n some kinbda rumble n rustle as them big boys shook their hands and it repercussed in their muscles.
WHEW! N NOT A MINUTE TOO SOON EITHER, the sun was descending and all the whirled was blending into a harmony of greenery n light.
JIMM N TRUCK WERE like some kinda molecular bonded unit by the time I noticed it gittin darker n that there was no further need of me to convey these two predestinated fellers to that big green Kenworth that they was walkin towards .
was still but one task on my briefly Atlased shoulders
CI climbed back into that old green monster boy, watchin my mighty matchmaking effort burst forth furiously as if a Flare went off tween them too big fellers. They was now pokin into all the details of that fantastical eighteen wheeler JIMM was in the process of driving from Rhode Island to Detroit and then into Dever. THose guys were so damn big I figured they might get around to waving goodbye to me about then. n Id still be able to see um plainly. But , um that thar sunset they was gonna ride off into, was just and indicator of the fact that I had just about an hour to complete my chore, off load these metaphorical connundrums back into the industrial wasteland that created them. Maybe their would someday be a kinda composting fer all their fiery hearts ta co mingle and enrich. I dint know, I was was just sure as shit haulin that dump truck to the dump! I hadda few more turns in the road before I got there n as things got dim I was amazed when I switched on the headlights and the road before me was suddenly, again, as ever, ABLAZE. Gettin closer n closer I could smell the location with my windows all rolled down n nobody on the road so fur outta town.
"Here It comes BABY!" I said to that ol truck n its load of bum fuck fucked up machinery.
The Johnston landfill was looming large as a city, even abandoned and in chains, naturally, when I finally got there but It was no matter. At this point, any where was there. I left the engine running n all the blinking blinding lights flashing as I scrabbled n scrambled around tearin off the pick up truck license plates Id screwed onto the beast this morn. Once the plates was stached under my left arm, well shit, I was a god damned wandering minstrel, just a steppin away sangin the praises of that blazing dumtruck fulla horse flies, n whatever else begun to fill my eyes. As the silence of the woods n the lonly dirt road home opened into the brilliant night skies,
CliGAWD, WAS A MAN EVER MORE HOIST ON HIS OWN DANG PETARD ? I sincerely hoped ol trukules , Down below,playin the role of a cocksucking Neptune, had the herculean lungs of some damn GOD, because I was involved in an internal conflict with my conscience at that pertikuler moment, that would guarantee the fact that I wunt gonna bust another easy nut like I had an hour before.
As if in answer to my spekulations, a vast amount of white, bubbly gasses erupted from the surface of the black water, one second before ol trukules broke the surface in person.
I went from quietly contemplatin the scenery with my bone bein blown TO SUDDENLY BEIN FACED WITH THE PHYSICAL ENORMATUDE OF my hypothetical truckers boy, and that awesome collection of taut pink bellies of one thousand n one muskulzz that was now all launched and lurching outta the deep blue and into the GASPING LAFFING WHOOPING PERSONA OF THE NEW KID IN TOWN.
TRUKULES JEESE now suddenly I almost hadda think to stay afloat.
This dude was a flashing thrashing kriot of action on the surface, n I bobbed n slobbered n took on water like the old fart that I truely was- there just tryin to keep breathin whilest Truk was havin at my corporate vessel like he was ON A SACRED QUEST! He was all kissin n lickin n kickin n grabbin n huggin n tuggin on me n never lettin my perplexified ol body float away fer more than a split second before he gathered me up in his arms n sounded the alarm fer another suckin n kissing SORTIE all over my ancient hippy soul.
Hell! There just werent no way fer me to remain abstractly pondering my selfish fallacy with him a goose N me n gigling n guffawing n slappin the water like he could not posibly ever get all of it as white n excited as he was , right then and there, immersed in his titanical horseplay in that old black water.
MUSTA TOOKEM at least five minutes to notice in spite of all the yelpin n ticklin n pickle lickin, that I was quite a bit more subdued than I was when I tore into the water a ways back. But you know like all watersports n horseplay the crashin n thrashin inevitably abates in a segue of gaspin n laffin n catchin yer breath n reclaiming yer dignity or the pose yer face thinks it hangs best in.
Then there is a very punctuated silince before the next splash, which in its tiny Emptiness announces the inevitable undoing of all these happy , slap sloppy wet huggin n muggin times, and the advent of some kinda sobriety and order insinuates itself into the the realm of liquid glee.
I floated on my back n the mighty thumpin n twistin of trukules diggin my scene sent repercussions o plenty into the water. Ripples what propelling me off into a bunch of reedy thangs sprangin up outta the water as I skidded along n bumped into the riverbank.
"HEY MAN WHATCHA DOIN OVER THERE" Truk protested the minute his dazzlin eyeballs had cleared and recocognized that there was now almost 3 yards beteen us.
"IM IZ BATTLING WITH MY CONSCIENCE TRUK" I yelled back "AINT THAT BLOODY HEROIC?"
"OH DUDE THAT SURE IZ," he beamed n then said softly "It makes me wanna suck yer dick some more sweet trucker man?"
I started to wonder what might have happened if all my internal combustion stray dogs had come back to life n started demanding that I be a genuine black handed genie, and fix um all! Instead of copping out n haulin um to a mass grave in the green monster. There was definitely a connection between Trukz incessant adoration based upon the most absurd misunderstanding, and my assuming tresponsibility fer all them unstrung weed wackers.
Truck paddled over to where I was floating among the reeds n grasses n slurped my love log back into his face. Jese that boy could suck the chrome offa trailer hitch!
WASNT LONG BEFORE HE HAD MY BONER DRIPPIN LOVE BUTTER N MY MIND BOUNCIN AROUND LIKE A PING PONG BALL. DAmn that big ass mutha could really be tender! And with my hands tourin the surface of his hard pink bod all bumpy n bicepted n buffed n bulgin lawd my fangers dug in but that pretty meat was hard n resiliant n his mouth was so purty n soft n his lil chin whiskers tickled as good as that big old tung muscle o his.
LAWD WHAT A MAN LOVIN HULK! He hauled my floating legs right over his big bulging shoulders n let um dangle downthe back of his trunk. Now there wunt nothin to keep them herculean lips from suclin me right up to the dang hip!
HE put his big mits on my shaggy tits n grabbed a handful o my chest in his two fisted grip. "DANG O!" I GASPED but he just kept me more securely in his grasp trading handfuls o my chest fer a firm purchase on each of my shoulders. So then with a gentle flex of his elbows He proceeded to steer my whole bod deeper into his gently suckin n lovin maw, awsome as ever, as he locked them blue laser gazes upon my soul n just began to suck my essence out like it was the last slurpy sweet sludge in the bottom of a towering ice cream soda.
"HEY WHAt did YA DO WITH MY CHERRY?" i LAUGHED AS HE LOVED ME SO DANG MUCH i THOUGHT iD HAVE HIS LIPS ON MY HIPS FER GOOD N EVERY.
He burst free fer a moment as his CHEERFUL, MUG EXPLODED WITH MIRTH, ANNA NEW SMIRK formed around my privates still lodged deep in his face. Then he burst open with A LAFF, a snort n another big gasp, N sucked wind in around my wanger , still buried deep in his muscular throat. I was ready to call fer a life boat!
But was no worry cause my big boy was so steadily planted on the muddy river bottom, with my entire body hitched onto him, from shoul;der to hip, my head the only thing not held fast in his grip.
